Glad I am not in a classroom with wise teens.... and NOT THEIR TEACHER....
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)
Q. Name the four
seasons
A. Salt, pepper,
mustard and vinegar
Q. How is dew formed
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes
them perspire
Q. What guarantees
may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a
house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic
society, how important are elections
A.. Very important. Sex
can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping
carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
Q... What happens to
your body as you age
A.. When you get old, so
do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a
boy when he reaches puberty
A.. He says goodbye to
his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major
disease associated with cigarettes
A.. Premature death
Q. What is artificial
insemination
A... When the farmer
does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay
milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main
20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A.. The body is
consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains
the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs
and the abdominal
cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U.
Q. What is the
fibula?
A.. A small lie
Q. What does
'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby
Q. What is the most
common form of birth control
A.. Most people prevent
contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)
Q. Give the meaning
of the term 'Caesarean section'
A.. The caesarean
section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure: I came, I saw, I had
a fit)
Q. What is a terminal
illness
A. When you are sick at
the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. What does the word
'benign' mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you
be eight (brilliant)
Q.
What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab
or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his
diaper and wraps it around his head. (now we're getting somewhere)
