·I changed my iPad’s name to Titanic, It's syncing now.
·I tried
to catch some fog. I mist.
·When
chemists die, they barium.
·Jokes
about German sausage are the wurst.
·A
soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
·I know
a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
·How
does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
·I
stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
·This
girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met
herbivore.
·I'm
reading a book about anti-gravity, I can't put it down.
·I did a
theatrical performance about puns, It was a play on words .
·They
told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
·A
dyslexic man walks into a bra .
·PMS
jokes aren't funny, period.
·Class
trip to the Coca-Cola factory, I hope there's no pop quiz.
·The
Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.
·I
didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
·Did you
hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control
her pupils?
·When
you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
·I
wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
·Broken
pencils are pointless.
·What do
you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
·England
has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
·I used
to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
·I
dropped out of Communism class because of lousy Marx.
·All the
toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to
go on.
·I got a
job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
·Haunted
French pancakes give me the crepes.
·Velcro
- what a rip off!
·Cartoonist
found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
·Venison
for dinner? Oh deer!
·Earthquake
in Washington - obviously government's fault.
·I used
to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
