I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work
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How do you
make holy water? You boil the hell out of it
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Will glass
coffins be a success? Remains to be seen
*******************
What’s the
difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a
little lighter
******************
Two windmills
are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?”
The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
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Hear about the
new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve
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I went to buy
some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any
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What do you
call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe
*******************
I tried to sue
the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case
*******************
When
everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
*******************
A cross-eyed
teacher couldn’t control his pupils
*******************
She had a
photographic memory but never developed it
*******************
Is it
ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't
really care
******************
I wasn’t
originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind
*******************
Which
country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s
Dublin.
*******************
My ex-wife
still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve
*******************
The guy who
invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize
*******************
I saw an ad
for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”
*******************
Need an ark? I
Noah guy
*******************
I used to be
indecisive; now I'm not so sure
*******************
Sleeping comes
so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed
*******************
What did the
grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine
******************
What do you
call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus
