We received about 2 inches of snow yesterday so:
8:00 am: I
made a snowman.
8:10 - A
feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So,
I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My
feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it
objectified women everywhere.
8:20 - The
gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two
snowmen instead.
8:22 - The
transgender man.. women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person
with detachable parts.
8:25 - The
vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are
food and are not used to decorate snow figures.
8:28 - I
was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:30 - I
used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more
racially inclusive.
8:37 - Then accused
of using a black face on the snowperson.
8:39 - The
middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely
covered.
8:40 - The
police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The
feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed
to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The
'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV
news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between
snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist.
9:00 - I
was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility
offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I
was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far
left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I
be arrested.
9:45 - The
boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had
been all over social media.
10:00 - I cry into
my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...
Moral: There isn't a moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
