The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes to the belly. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin with the gravesite piled high with many flours.
Numerous
celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth,
Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the California Raisins, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Captain Crunch.
Aunt
Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never
knew how much he was kneaded.
Born
in 1965 and bread in Minnesota, Poppin’ Fresh rose quickly in show business,
but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was never considered a very
smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half baked schemes.
A
little flaky, he was known as crusty man, but still considered a positive
“roll” model to millions.
Doughboy
is survived by his wife Play Dough; three children – John Dough, Jane Dough,
and Dosey Dough…plus, they had a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his
elderly uncle, Pop-Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 15 minutes.
