I read a few blogs. Wayne Cox has a wonderful blog. He only posts on Sunday's but this weeks blog was excellent. We never had the same parents, but they sure thought alike:
It
seems that for a certain generation, “things parents said” seems universal. I
thought it was just my parents, but it turns out everyone my age was hearing
the same things. Whether they were threats or warnings, they were well-meaning,
I’m sure.
Let me start with one of the classics. “Because I said so.” I’m chuckling just
reading it. “Because I said so” is an obvious admission that your parents
couldn’t think of a good reason for whatever they had just told you to do, or
the command that had been given didn’t need a reason. Either way, just do it.
It has stuck in my head all these years. I’m hoping I never said that to my
kids!
Or how about this one: “Close the door, were you born in a barn?” For a kid
from the city, like me, I could only assume that barn doors were never closed.
But the message was clear: close the door!
How about this threat: “Wait till your father gets home!” My thoughts go back
to Larry Mondello on the
Leave It to Beaver television show. His mother was always
threatening him with that phrase. How unfair to poor old Dad. He’d worked all
day, and the moment he walked in the door, he was hit with every household
problem and the task of disciplining some kid who had been acting up.
In the violence department, some of my favourites are “Don’t be swinging that
around, you could take an eye out!” And “Someone is going to end up getting
hurt” (or crying.) Someone was always about to break their neck! “Pick that up
before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!” And “If you don't stop crying,
I'll give you something to cry about!”
In this classic, the name is interchangeable: “If Billy jumped off a bridge,
would you?” The bridge could be a building, a cliff, or any other place that
would result in a horrible ending. It was a rhetorical question that always
gave pause for thought.
The list continues. “Don’t sit so close to the TV, you’ll go blind.”
Really? That apparently was the main cause of blindness back then. And
while we’re in the optical department, how about “Eating carrots will improve
your eyesight.” I never asked for medical proof on this one; I just went along
with it. A number of sources point out that there is a connection between
carrots and eyesight because carrots contain beta-carotene, and the body uses
beta-carotene to make vitamin A, which helps the eyes connect to the brain. So
there was some truth to it.
“Don’t make that face, or your face will stay like that!” Now that’s a pretty
serious affliction. Was there any medical or scientific evidence to back this
up? It was a pretty scary thought.
This one may have only been peculiar to my family. Whenever any of us wanted
something and asked Dad for it, the answer inevitably would be, “Someday.”
“Some day” was a kinder, gentler way of saying it’s never going to happen. I
think it stemmed from not having much disposable income. The request was
usually for a new bike or a trip somewhere, so “some day” always kept hope
alive that one day, some day, it just might happen. “Some day” would come at
the same time as “I guess I’ll just go pick some money off the money tree in
the backyard!”
I was always told, “If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play
outside.” Which is in the same department as “No dessert until you finish your
dinner.” I think I must have missed many desserts when I was a kid; there
always seemed to be too much tuna casserole on my plate! I tried a version of
that on the boys when they were young. My version was, “You can’t get down from
the table and play till you’ve finished your dinner.” That backfired a little
as I recall. I found out how stubborn Tyler really was. He wouldn’t finish
eating his dinner, so he sat and sat and sat so long that he fell asleep! Now
what? I couldn’t leave him there all night. Unknowingly, he won that round.
“Say ‘pardon me,’ not what!” That one would always elicit a smart- aleck
response: “What?” I know it was just an attempt at making you more polite, but
was the origin from someone who found the word “what” annoying?
Speaking of words, how about this one: “There’s no such word as can’t.” That
must have been very puzzling to a young person learning the English language.
Over the years, I’ve learned many valuable lessons in life, like how I would
forget my head if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders, and how would I know I
didn’t like something if I hadn’t tried it. And never touch anything on the
ground, because I don’t know where it’s been!
And if I can leave you with just one piece of advice this Sunday morning, it
would be this: “Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.”
