GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats..
2) When
your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If
your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never
ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You
can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't
sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never
hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You
can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't
wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The
best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing
jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly
sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just
yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like
jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your
cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up
is optional.
2) Forget the health food.. I need all
the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what
else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the
same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all
the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's
a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes
age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
