Famous people's sayings

 

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'   - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)   <><>        I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'   - Eleanor Roosevelt <><>        Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.   - Mark Twain   <><>        The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.   - George Burns   <><>        Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.   - Victor Borge   <><>        Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.   - Mark Twain   <><>        By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.   - Socrates   <><>        I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.   - Groucho Marx   <><>        My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.   - Jimmy Durante   <><>        I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.   - Zsa Zsa Gabor   <><>        Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.   - Alex Levine   <><>        My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.   - Rodney Dangerfield   <><>        Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.   - Spike Milligan   <><>        Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was:  ' SHUT UP .'   - Joe Namath   <><>        I don't feel old. I don't feel anything  until noon. Then it's time for my nap.   - Bob Hope   <><>        I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.   - W. C. Fields   <><>        We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.   - Will Rogers   <><>        Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.   - Winston Churchill   <><>        Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.   - Phyllis Diller   <><>        By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.   - Billy Crystal   And the cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good spit it out.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~