CHICKENS
The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes
hours.
DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.
INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.
POLITICAL
CORRECTNESS
A
doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.
RAISIN
A grape with a sunburn.
SECRET
A story you tell to one person at a
time.
SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped
off.
TOOTHACHE
The pain
that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES
Something other people have....similar
to my character lines.
OLD
I very
quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
She
turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
. . . and
that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!!!
In youth,
the days are short and the years are long.
In old age,
the years are short and days long.
BEAUTY
PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.
