CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People Q & A

 

CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People Questions and Answers from CARP Forum
Q:  Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them?	A:   Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q:  What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?	A:  Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q:  Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true?  Where can it be found?	A:  Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."
Q:  How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband?	A:  Tell him you're pregnant.
Q:  How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?	A:  Take off your glasses.
Q:  Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?	A:  Go braless. It will usually pull them out..
Q:  Why should 70 plus year old people use valet parking?	A:  Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q:  Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?	A:  Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is the problem.
Q:  As people age, do they sleep more soundly?	A:  Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q:  Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?	A:  On their foreheads.
Q:  What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?	A:  "Gosh, I remember these!"