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There is a silent tragedy unfolding in our homes today, and it involves our most beautiful jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! Over the past 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics about an acute and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:
The stats don't lie:
• 1 in 5 children have mental health problems • A 43% increase in ADHD has been observed
• A 37% increase in teenage depression was observed
• A 200% increase in suicide rate among children between 10 and 14 years old has been observed.
What is happening and what are we doing wrong?
Today’s children are over-stimulated and over-gifted with material things, but they are deprived of the foundations of a healthy childhood like:
• Emotionally available parents
• clearly defined boundaries
• responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement in general but especially outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, casual play opportunities and spaces for boredom
Instead, the last few years have been filled with children of:
• Digital Distracted Parents
• indulgent, permissive parents who let children “run the world” and be the ones who make the rules
• A sense of entitlement, to deserve everything without earning it or being responsible for it
• Inappropriate sleep and imbalanced nutrition
• A sedentary way of life
• Endless stimulation, tech nannies, instant gratification and no dull moments
Wat is there too do?
If we want our children to be happy, healthy individuals we need to wake up and get back to basics. This is still time ! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:
• Set boundaries and remember that you are the captain of the boat. Your children will feel safer knowing that you have government control.
• Provide children with a balanced lifestyle filled with what children need, not just what they want. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your kids if what they want is not what they need.
• Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
• Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: Cycling, hiking, fishing, bird/bug watching
• Enjoy an everyday family dinner without smartphones or technology distracting them.
• Play board games as a family or if the children are too young for board games, get carried away by your interests and let them send in the game
• Involve your children in a task or household task depending on their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, unpacking food, setting the table, feeding the dog etc. All over the world
• Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. Schedules will be even more important for school age children.
• Teaching responsibility and independence. Do not overprotect them from any frustration or mistake. Being wrong will help them build resilience and learn to overcome life's challenges,
• Don’t load your children’s backpack, don’t carry your backpacks, don’t take their assignment they forgot, don’t peel their bananas or peel their oranges if they can do it themselves (4-5 years old). Instead of giving them the fish, show them how to fish.
• Teach them to wait and delay gratification.
• Provide opportunities for “boredom”, because boredom is when creativity awakens. Don't feel responsible for always keeping kids entertained.
• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the first second of inactivity.
• Avoid the use of technology at meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping malls. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize thus training brains to function when they are in "boredom" mode.
• Help them create a "Boredom Bottle" with activity ideas for when they are bored.
• Be emotionally available to connect with children and teach them self-regulation and social skills:
• Turn off phones at night when children need to go to bed to avoid digital distraction.
• Become an emotional regulator or coach for your children. Teach them how to recognize and manage their own frustrations and anger.
• Show them to greet, to take turns, to share without staying without anything, to say thank you and please, to recognize the mistake and apologize (don't force them), be a model of all these values he instills.
• Connect emotionally - smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, play or cuddle with them.
Article written by Dr. Luis Rojas Marcos, psychiatrist.
