The New York Times list of the best lexophiles:
◾I changed
my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
◾England
has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
◾Haunted
French pancakes give me the crepes.
◾This girl
today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've
never met herbivore.
◾I know a
guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
◾A thief
who stole a calendar got twelve months.
◾When the
smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
◾I got
some batteries that were given out free of charge.
◾A dentist
and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
◾A will is
a dead giveaway.
◾With her
marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
◾Police
were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
◾A bicycle
can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
◾The guy
who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
◾He had a
photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
◾When she
saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
◾Acupuncture
is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
◾I didn't
like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
◾Did you
hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't
control her pupils?
◾When you
get a bladder infection, urine trouble
◾When
chemists die, they barium.
◾I stayed
up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
◾I'm
reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down
