Don’t be worried about your Smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
My goal for 2023 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, me neither.
I love approaching 85, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older...this is not what I expected.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
The ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humour suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
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