Nine Important Facts

• Number 9:  Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
• Number 8:  Life is sexually transmitted.
• Number 7:  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Number 6:  Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart.  If you see a gleam in his eyes make him a sandwich.
• Number 5:  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.  Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't both you for weeks, months, maybe years.
• Number 4:  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
• Number 3:  All of us could take a lesson from the weather,  It pays no attention to criticism.
• Number 2:  In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
• Number 1:  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.  What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.